It is normal and understandable to feel anxious about going back to school after a long summer break or starting school for the first time.
No matter what the situation is, parents can help their children transition back to school by being able to identify the symptoms of stress and anxiety and coming up with some innovative solutions.
Tips for Dealing With Stress and Anxiety
The best way to address stress and anxiety in a child is to encourage them to talk to you about what is troubling them. Listen without judgment and validate their feelings. Sometimes, expressing their feelings is all a child needs to feel better.
You can help your child feel better about going back to school by preparing your home in advance. Try making school lunches ahead of time or setting up a comfortable homework area. These strategies can help kids feel more in control and reduce anxiety.
Be Positive
2 1. Remind your kids that there are many good things about school, such as learning new things and participating in extracurricular activities. 2. Help ease your kids’ anxiety and stress about starting school by reminding them of all the great things about it.
What are some things your kids can look forward to about school?
Assure Them They Aren’t Alone
Encourage your kids by reminding them that they are not alone in feeling nervous about the start of school. It is likely that other students feel the same way. Also, let them know that the teacher is aware that kids may be nervous and will take time to help them feel more comfortable in the classroom setting.
If your child is struggling to reconnect with friends they haven’t seen in months, set up some playdates. Helping your child reconnect with old friends or build bonds with new ones not only reduces anxiety and stress but can also help them start the year off on a positive note.
Since the start of the pandemic, many kids have been cut off from their peers, which may have accentuated feelings of isolation and loneliness.
Try to reconnect them with their classmates, even if it has to be online for now. In some schools, you can get a class list, which can help you figure out who to connect with.
If your school district does not allow you to see a list of your child’s classmates, try posting in online school community groups. This way, you can connect with other parents who have children in your child’s class. If your child is worried about not being in the same class as their old friends, tell them that they can still stay in touch with them.
Make an Effort to Be Present
As your child is getting ready to go back to school, it is important to be supportive and available for them, especially during the first few weeks. One way to do that is to be at home more if possible.
Make sure you are available to support your child through the transition back to school. If you work away from home, try to arrange your hours so that you can drop your child off at school and be there after school.
If you can’t be with your child when they go to school, ask someone else who you trust to be there with them. This can be a relative, friend, or caregiver. Leaving an encouraging note for them in their backpack or calling them before they leave for school can help them feel more secure.
Set aside some time to do something fun together to celebrate your child’s first day back at school. This will give them something to look forward to and make them feel more at ease knowing that you understand how hard it is for them to go back to school.
If you are a stay-at-home parent, make an effort to spend more time focusing on your child when they are home, and delay less important tasks until they are not around. Talk to your child about their day, and ask them about the things they enjoyed or any questions they may have.
Giving your child more attention will help them feel more secure about their connection to you and home, and help them navigate back-to-school time.
Promote Healthy Living
One way to reduce stress and anxiety is to improve your sleep and eating habits. Getting enough sleep and eating a nutritious diet helps improve brain function, mood, and focus.
Your kids also need some outlets to release their energy. While some children like playing sports, others might prefer a calmer activity like reading or writing in a journal. It is important to choose activities that relieve stress for your child, and that vary depending on the child.
Know When to Get Outside Help
As the parent, you are in the best position to gauge how your child is feeling. If you think that their anxiety around going back to school is due to something more significant, like an anxiety disorder or bullying, have a conversation with your kid, their teacher, and the school counselor.
If you are struggling to help your child with anxiety or feel like you need more help, you can reach out to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration National Helpline. They can provide you with information on support and treatment facilities in your area that can help. You can reach them at 1-800-662-4357.
Remember to take care of yourself as well during this transitional phase. This time can be just as hectic and stressful for parents. Make sure you are eating right, getting enough sleep, and exercising.
Any anxiety or stress you or your child may be feeling will usually go away soon.8 It won’t be long before your family is used to being back at school.
Things I Know for Sure About (Most) Middle School Kids
1. THEY CARE MORE ABOUT THE OPINIONS OF THEIR PEERS THAN PRETTY MUCH ANYTHING ELSE.
Sometimes kids will do things that don’t make sense, like not turning in an assignment they worked hard on, because they just found out they will have to read it out loud in front of the class. Or refusing your offer of a chocolate milk, even though they love chocolate milk, because someone else is around who recently declared all chocolate milk to be babyish.
The best way to deal with this issue is to see if you can use it to your advantage. Find the most confident kids in class and try to get them to help you with a new project or venture. If the popular kids in class say they like something, then others are likely to follow. Also, keep in mind that socializing is a huge motivator for middle school kids. If you promise them five minutes of talking time at the end of class in exchange for their hard work during the hour, you will probably get full cooperation.
2. THEY ARE HORRIFIED BY WHAT THEIR BODIES ARE DOING.
Many of us can remember what it was like to deal with the constant betrayal of our bodies during adolescence. Our skin would explode with zits and popping them would make them more noticeable. Or we would be sitting in class and realize that we were the ones with B.O. Every couple of weeks, something new would happen to our bodies that would threaten our social lives until high school graduation.
The following is some advice on how to deal with kids who are going through puberty in a classroom setting: -Try not to call attention to their bodies or the changes they are going through. -If they are resistant to doing something public, like writing on the board, it is probably due to a physical reason. In this case, back off and don’t try to figure out the reason. Just move on to another kid.
3. THEY TREND TOWARD HYPERBOLE.
According to the author, young adolescents are prone to exaggeration due to various factors such as limited life experience, hormones, and identity development.
In order to deal with this issue, you need to validate the emotions that are causing these exaggerations while also trying to help them see the situation in a more realistic light. acknowledging their fear while also reframing the experience in a more positive light can help modeling the way a healthy person deals with life’s surprises. It is important to try and maintain a sense of humor about the situation, knowing that it is only temporary and in some ways can be seen as funny.
4. THEY ARE MORTIFIED BY PUBLIC PRAISE.
Elementary school kids often take pride in being recognized by their peers for things such as winning the perfect attendance award, being student of the month, or having the highest math score. However, if you try to praise a middle school kid in front of his or her peers for something they did well, the kid may react negatively, appearing to shrivel up. An example of this is when a teacher called out a student, Emir, in front of the class for having written a really well-crafted essay, with the intention of the other students being motivated to do the same. However, Emir looked uncomfortable and for the rest of the year, he turned in subpar work. The issue wasn’t that the praise was unwelcome, it was that he didn’t like being praised in front of others.
If a student is not responding well to praise, it may be because they would prefer to hear it in private.
5. THEY CAN’T BE TRUSTED.
If you want to share something confidential with a student, it’s better to not do it over the morning announcements. Middle school kids tend to share everything they know, even if it’s not meant to be shared. They don’t understand the consequences that can come from sharing confidential information. What’s worse, is that when they share the information, they tend to make it sound a lot worse than it actually is.
Middle school kids should be treated like the internet in that you shouldn’t share anything you wouldn’t want to be made public.
6. THEY JUST NOW REALIZED YOU ARE A HUMAN BEING. WAIT…NEVER MIND.
So they may hog the remote, blurt out things in class that they assume everyone already knows, or hog the conversation at a party. As children move through Piaget’s stages of cognitive development, they move from being egocentric, where they see themselves as the center of the universe, to understanding that others might experience the world differently than they do. This process starts around age 11 or 12, but it takes time and is a bumpy road. This means that children in this stage will be intensely interested in others and ask a lot of questions about their personal lives. However, their awareness of other people’s needs is still developing, so they may do things like hog the remote or blurt out things in class without realizing it.Your room is a mess five minutes later.
If you are getting a lot of admiration and attention from your students, enjoy it, but don’t be surprised if there are times when they seem to forget you exist. It can be hard for students to adjust to the formal operational stage at first. If students ask you personal questions, answer them within reason. Remember that you are a role model and a professional, and you are not their friend, so always give them the G-rated version of your life.
7. THEY ARE PULLING AWAY FROM THEIR PARENTS.
There are numerous parents who have told me that their kids barely tell them anything and that they have no clue what their kid’s school lives are like. It is normal for kids this age to pull away from their parents even though they might need adult guidance more than any other time in their lives. Parents are usually the last ones kids will look to for guidance during this time.
As a trusted adult, you have the ability to fill in the gaps for kids who have isolated themselves from their families. It’s important to remember to be the adult in this situation: give responsible advice, model good decision-making, and avoid taking the child’s side over the parents’ unless there is genuine abuse. You should be in partnership with the student and their primary caregivers. Make sure your students are always aware of this partnership.
8. THEY ARE STILL KIDS.
The maturity level of middle school children can vary greatly from one child to the next, and even from moment to moment. One minute they may be having a deep, philosophical discussion with you about the symbolism in a Robert Frost poem, and the next minute they may be making armpit farts and asking if it’s okay to drink the water from the fish tank. The boys, in particular, tend to do a lot of wiggling – an almost unbearable amount of it.
Do not expect older behavior to continue, and when immaturity appears, understand that it is typical – they are behaving like their age group does. Discover how to take advantage of it: Unlike high school students, middle schoolers are much more willing to participate in activities like review games, and they are more than happy to take a note to the office or hand out papers for you. The squirming is normal, too – their bodies are growing rapidly, and with no more recess, there are few chances for them to expend that energy. If you see that the squirming is preventing class from continuing smoothly, it may be an indication that you have not incorporated enough movement into your plans. Add breaks for movement and you should observe more self-control when it is critical.
Most of the time, when I told someone I was a middle-school teacher the typical reaction was a wince or “whoa.” They would then say something along the lines of “Tough age,” and I would smile and nod in agreement, knowing that “tough” doesn’t even come close to describing it. One word could never truly capture the ridiculousness, smelliness, stubborness, and fragility of them all – but we still love them.
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